Scruff's Scrible with Einstein - 09/10/2005
Well this feels a bit strange, I have to tell you. Normally at this time on a Sunday night I’m sitting down to a cup of coco looking forward to reading what Scruff has to say about the world – and now it’s up to me to tell you what I think of the world.
You’ll just have to bear with me a wee while until I get used to this writing lark.
I’m having a bit of trouble with the old computer keyboard. When I was a little bun, someone abandoned me and my siblings in a house. My nails grew very long and now I have a bit of trouble keeping them in shape – which means my typing isn’t up to much.
I’m a foster bun and live out in the hills somewhere with The Simpsons – according to the telly my mum should have big blue hair and my dad should like beer and have a large belly. Well, mum hasn’t got blue hair but dad does like beer and has a fairly big belly. He says Doh! too.
My wife is called Flossy. She’s a Cashmere lop and can go from looking like a big scary sheep to a little lamb with the snip of mum’s scissors. She keeps her clipped because Floss gets all tangled up and can carry a week’s supply of hay around in her chest and bottom hair. I love her lots. She’s got the biggest blue eyes, and such lovely fluffy ears.
I also live with a squawking shuttlecock – George, an eight-year-old budgie who coos like a pigeon and sleeps on the top of his cage on his belly. Funny but very noisy.
I go back to Bobtails on a regular basis and get to see all my old mates and to check the aunties are behaving themselves, particularly Auntie Claire (the one who talks a lot, not the northern one who talks a lot – but in a funny language). For some reason the vet likes looking at my teeth. He’s quite friendly so I don’t mind too much – he talks funny too.
I’m a bit older than Scruff, so I don’t use hip and happening words like laydees or respect, unless it’s the sort you give to elderly bunnies. But I will try to keep you entertained until we can train a full-time Bobtails bun to keep you in the picture.
Two possible candidates are siblings Dougal and Florence – two French lops who have recently moved into Bobtails. They are so naughty. They are black and white and look almost identical. They’ve been up Delia’s chimney, on and off the sideboard, on and off the table, everywhere. The mucky little monsters leave droppings all over but they are adorable.
They’re five months old at the moment and their writing isn’t up to much. Imagine them teaming up with Techno-idea Jim. On the one hand he’s bringing the worldwide web to its knees and on the other hand Double Trouble are bring Ewell to a standstill with their sharp electrical work.
While Dougal is a very chilled out little boy, Florence is a bit more flighty, though I heard Delia telling someone the other day that she’s particularly fond of sitting by the washing machine when it’s on fast spin –Florence that is, not Delia.
Unbelievably, someone actually put these two out for the bin men in a sealed cardboard box in Camberley. Would you believe someone could actually do that? Had it not been for a woman rushing to put her rubbish out, these two little babies would have gone in the crusher wagon. The woman tripped over the box they were in and thankfully they moved. They were minutes away from death I would say. They were taken to lovely Auntie Lorna at Greefields and made their way into the Bobtails household.
We matter for goodness sake – we matter just like cats and dogs. When are people going to start treating us a bit better?
Like all the other Bobtails buns, these two have instantly had their lives transformed.
Another little bun who’s been given another chance this week is Eva and her half-wild babies.
We had a call from a girl who’s brother shoots wild rabbits for a farmer. He saw a black rabbit with the wild rabbits and had a word with the farmer, who said it was his grandson’s rabbit and that he should shoot it too. He told his sister about this and she was very angry, demanding her brother do something to help the black rabbit. He went back to the farmer who took him to the black rabbit’s hutch. Inside, he found the black rabbit, Eva, and a litter of babies.
The farmer was going to drown the babies and have Eva shot.
Thankfully Eva and her babies are now being looked after at Bobtails and will no doubt be in need of a nice home soon.
We’ve had a birthday celebration at Bobtails this week, though I’ve heard the birthday girl isn’t feeling her best.
To Auntie Claire, the one who talks properly, we all hope you had a lovely birthday and are feeling better. We bought her a birthday cake which greedy Tess the dog wouldn’t even eat. Ooops – if that’s how they treat one of their most helpful volunteers, what hope does that give the rest of them. My advice to the aunties out there is to keep your birthday a secret.
I heard on the grapevine this week that the Bobtails calendar is raring to go. I was very pleased to hear the Mr Scruff's baby photo is being used on the front. He's also making an appearance inside, which is a very fitting tribute to him. I hope he's looking down with a smile. Some of his other Bobtails friends are also featured, but you'll have to buy it to find out who. I wonder if I'm in there? I doubt it - I've only got one tooth at the front, which doesn't make for an attractive smile. But I do have other qualities.
I’d better be off because I like an early night. I do have one final thing to mention this week, and that’s to say thank you to everyone who has sent a message to Bobtails about our dear Mr Scruff. I know Jim, Delia and Laura have been touched by the response they had to their sad news.
In true Mr Scruff style, it would only be right to say goodnight with nudgey cuddles to you all.