Scruff's Scribble - 18/08/2005
I've got such a lot of news for you this week but before I can tell you anything rabbit-related at all I must tell you about our Laura.
It's so exciting, it's so brilliant, it's so wonderful. I could just burst with pride - we're going to university.
She got her A-level results today and she's got the grades she needs to study philosophy and religious studies at Kent University. We're going to be teachers.
We'll soon be packing our tin openers and Doc Martins and heading for life as smelly students. We won't need to wash anymore, can eat rubbish all day and all night and will have the pick of university talent. Happy days here we come!
Now, back to business ...
I've said to you many many times that I am horrified at how some people treat my brothers and sisters, but this week really does take the biscuit.
Because I don't want my fluffy little bum sued in the law courts, I have to be very careful what I say, but I can tell you that this shameful case of cruelty involves a public figure who really should know better.
One of our loyal supporters was asked to look after a bunny while its owners were away on holiday. It arrived for boarding in its own hutch, which stunk to high heaven, he was riddled with fly strike, with one tooth growing up the outside of its face which meant he couldn't eat and was struggling to breathe because of the ammonia stench in his hutch.
The poor baby was soaked in its own urine and was starving.
I thought initially that this poor bun was nine years old but really he's only about two or three.
After a few trips to the vets, a nebuliser to help its breathing, a bit of TLC in the grooming salon and plate loads of food, the bun is starting to look a bit better - but over my dead bunny body will that poor little bun go back to its cruel owners.
I'm so cross I could cry, and as you know that's not like big bold brave Mr Scruff. This brave little soul has so much love to give - it had a run around in the house and rather than scurrying away under a table, he went and licked Delia's toes as if to say 'thank you'.
I'd like to see how this particular public figure would cope sitting in his own wee with maggots crawling about his private bits and bobs, nothing to eat and unable to breathe properly.
As much as I'd like to rant on, I can't dwell on that anymore.
I'm sure in the near future, if not today, she who must be obeyed and Techno-idea Jim will put a picture of me as a baby on the internet. It's a process all parents seem to go through....'Oooh, isn't he cute, let's show the world and his greyhound what Mr Scruff looked like when he was a baby'.
It's a phase they'll grow out of I'm sure, but for now I must suffer the humiliation.
Talking of photos, I heard dear Delia talking on the phone the other night saying that there would be no preferential treatment given to me when they choose whose photos to put on the calendar.
For goodness sake you two, I'm your boy, you're proud of me, you love me - so PUT ME ON THE FRONT!
There will be trouble if they don't. Remember my destructive behaviour from not so long ago? Remember how big my wees are?
I've got some more good news for your this week. Remember Holly, the French lop beauty who I thought might be my girl, well she's been rehomed with another ex-Bobtails bun. The lucky boy is Lugs, and I hope they'll be very happy.
Dusty, the single dad who was bringing up his two babies, has also been rehomed - all three are looking forward to going to their new home.
His former wife, Rusty, who was rescued with him from a balcony on a block of flats with numerous babies, hasn't been quite so lucky.
After raising the litter she came into Bobtails with, the poor mum gave birth to yet another. She must have already been pregnant when she came to us. She's absolutely shattered, bless her heart. Delia said to someone on the phone 'have people not heard the saying breed like rabbits' and then muttered something about poor Rusty having four litters since March.
Sometimes I struggle to get to sleep at night, worrying about all the poor rabbits in the world who aren't looked after at Bobtails. There's no wonder I get such bags under my eyes. Please, please, please make sure your furry friends are clean, watered, fed and why not give them an extra cuddle tonight so I've a few less to worry about.
Love and nudgey cuddles as always, Your Mr Scruff