Scruff's Scribble - 05/08/2005
I hope this Scribble finds you all fine and dandy.
I am coping admirably without my secretary this week. To be honest all she does is a bit of typing – she spends the rest of the time nattering in my ear.
It’s a blessing she’s not here really because, like techno-idea Jim, she struggles to retrieve emails.
And talking of emails, here are a few who have come into me recently. This one from Miss Bunny Penny certainly made my ears prick up and my eyes twinkle.
“Well hello there Mr Scruff. I was just having an online browse when I happened upon your diary. I think you are G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S. My name is Miss Bunny-Penny and as you will see from the attached photo I am an Ermine Rex. Oh how I wish we could meet. But alas I already have 30 other bunnies with whom I share a home. We all have our stories to tell but most of us came to live here having been previously ‘no longer wanted’ pets.
“So Mr Scruff, I will just have to print off a copy of your picture so I can sit and gaze longingly at you. I would love a real nudgey cuddle with you but will just have to dream of you instead. I will keep up to date with all the goings on at Bobtails by reading your diary. If you do find yourself a laydee bun to live with I will not be too upset. Must dash now, time to pester my neighbours Murphy and Felicity.
It’s nearly time for some greens now and I must make sure I get mine FIRST!! With much love from your very own single white female Miss Bunny-Penny xxxxxxxxxxx”
Wow, she’s a girl after my own heart, not only does she like pestering the other bunnies, she makes sure she gets her greens first too. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. A big nudgey to you Miss Bunny Penny, and I hope you find your 007 Bond Bunny soon.
I was a little confused when this letter arrived for me in the post – it was addressed to Mr Hector Scruff, then I remembered she who must be obeyed wanted to call me Hector when I first moved in. Looks like I escaped that one, but there are some who aren’t so lucky, like Einstein (please give me another name) and Maybelline (Molly would have done) who had been abandoned in a house. Life had been cruel enough, without such special names.
I suppose in Delia’s defence, there are lots of buns coming through the door who aren’t loved enough to have names and there are only so many names.
I actually saw Einstein a few weeks ago and he has grown into his name – he’s got crazy scientist hair now, but he still doesn’t look clever enough to have won the Nobel Prize for physics. Mind you, our Einstein is still young – and I read on the internet this week that even the real Einstein struggled at school.
Anyway, enough about Einstein and back to the letter. It was from Mr Bailey Binkster McStinkster – do you think Delia had a hand in naming him too?
“Dear Mr Scruff
Perhaps I can call you Hector? After all, I am about to impart some ‘hared’ earned wisdom to you.
The two legs here told us about you and I thought I really should write. I don’t know if you know what you are letting yourself into living with two legs who run a rabbit rescue.
It’s very hard work. I thought I would give you some pointers:
1. The two legs actually do think that there are other rabbits out there that deserve their attention!! I know…! I was shocked too! But the deal is you are the special one because you get to stay. The others don’t. I find it makes me feel much better to flaunt this fact in front of them whenever I can.
2. The two legs spend a lot of time with that thing that rings all the time pressed to their short little ears talking about other rabbits and moaning about other two legs. Choose these times to wee on the sofa, rip the curtains and chew the skirting boards.
That’s all for now. Love Your friend Mr Bailey Binkster McStinkster”
Wow again, and lots more R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Fancy getting away with weeing on the sofa and chewing the curtains. I must try harder to be like Mr Bailey Binkster McStinkster – I’ll start by changing my name to The Scruffster.
Anyway, I’ll have to be off because I’ve got lots of paperwork to attend to. She, the secretary, usually puts it all in a neat pile but I think it’s much more effective to file it with my teeth.
Nudgey cuddles to you all. Keep those emails coming in – email@example.com.
Until next week….